RuPaul’s Drag Race Season 9, Episode 12 Recap: The Final Girls

Previously on Drag Race: RuPaul’s Best Friend Race got its lunch money taken by Alexis Michelle and her drama. Sasha Velour and Shea Couleé got into their first tiff as a married lesbian couple. And Peppermint destroyed another adversary in the lip-sync.

The girls regroup in the werk room post-elimination and Sasha Velour is all “our heart is broken for our sister” but ALSO “unfortunately I feel like this was her time.”

Sasha1.PNG
Every season has its unexpected shade assassin, and this year’s is Ms. Velour.

Shea Couleé is feeling extra confident about having won the last challenge and thinks it’s basically a matter of time till she gets the crown. Let’s be real, we’re all thinking that too.

Sasha, however, throws a little bit of shade at Shea’s rainbow look and says she probably should’ve been this challenge’s winner.

tumblr_o5jcffq1zx1qh31n4o2_500
Thorgy Thor knows how that feels.

Shea sweetly says this is the top 4 she was really wishing for, and Trinity Taylor has the weirdest, angriest reaction? I feel like the editing team maybe got confused there.

Trinity1.PNG
Why you mad?? That was a nice thing to say!

The next morning, the queens come in making so much noise it sounds like it’s the beginning of the season and there’s still a dozen contestants there.

Girls1
Pipe down!

Then they all decide to scream like Peppermint for the fun of it. It’s cute, but RIP every Drag Race fan’s speakers.

Shea1.PNG
That’s kind of how my ears feel right now.

Michelle Visage comes into the werk room instead of RuPaul as per usual to announce the season’s final challenge – and I’m finding myself just staring at her legs because we never get to see them behind that judging podium.

Michelle1
Dem heels! Respect.

Michelle announces the girls will be recording and performing a verse in a remix of RuPaul’s “Category Is…” and they’ll be doing it with recurring guest judge Todrick Hall guiding them through it.

Group2
And they go totally crazy like they haven’t already worked with him twice this season.

There’s so much going on in this episode that the werk room banter is very limited, but Sasha does take a second to call Trinity Taylor’s upcoming vocal performance “barnyard noises.”

Pepper1.PNG
SHADE.

Shea Couleé goes into the recording studio first out of the four girls to lay down some vocals on the track. Todrick Hall is assisted by music producer Vjuan Allure.

Vjuan1
Yes, you read that right. V.J.U.A.N. Allure. I know, right?

Shea goes in hard with the fast-paced rapping and, besides a few stumbles on diction, literally kills it.

Shea2
Next!

Meanwhile, Peppermint heads into another recording studio to guest star on the first of four podcasts with Mama Ru and Michelle Visage. They talk about how Peppermint has been struggling to juggle her lives as a drag queen and a transgender person. But she got this now. They don’t have to be separate, plain and simple.

Pepper2
We love you, mawma.

Back in the music recording studio, Trinity is stumbling through her lyrics, big time.

Todrick1
Oh that is not a good face to be making in a recording studio.

Out of nowhere, Todrick sasses the fuck out of Trinity. “You’re saying ‘the talent I’ve got,’ honey. So…”

Todrick2
Ooooo, NURSE!

Trinity trips on her words a third or fourth time, and Vjuan makes this face:

Vjuan2
Oh, she a drama queen.

Trinity2.PNG

This is not a good day for Trin-Trin, henny.

Sasha records the podcast with Michelle and Ru and talks about her mom and how she never really shared her drag with her before she passed away. But her dad is a huge fan, and she calls him Papa Velour. Fun fact: he came to a Drag Race viewing I was at in San Francisco and stood right next to me while we watched!

Sasha2.PNG
I got to meet Papa Velour, y’all!

At the end of the podcast recording, Michelle and Ru gift Sasha with a Squatty Potty. For serious.

Sasha3
This season has awarded Sasha with hamburgers (even though she’s a pescatarian), hair products (for a bald queen), and now a stool to help her poop.

It’s Peppermint’s turn in the recording studio, and it lasts like two minutes because she nails it.

Pepper3
Looks like I’ve been sorely underestimating her talent, you guys. Oops.

Shea chats it up with Ru and Michelle and talks about growing up in a predominantly white neighborhood. It’s sad, but like the weekly makeup venting sessions, this is starting to feel a little forced.

Michelle2
But it’s okay – Squatty Potty will make everything better!

Sasha is recording her track, and y’all, this is scary. It sounds really strange, and Todrick doesn’t like it. But Sasha defends her choices and, with a few notes from Todrick, ends up selling it after all.

Sasha4
Phew!

Trinity tells Michelle and Ru about her grandparents, and telling her grandmother she hated her shortly before her passing. It’s a moving conversation about learning to deal with things you can no longer change.

Squatty1
But also, Squatty Potty!

With all of that out of the way, it’s time for the queens to learn the choreography for their number. Peppermint is first, and like her recording, she kills this part of the challenge.

Pepper4
This piece of candy is slaying hard.

Todrick’s got this really intricate choreography planned for Sasha Velour, and it’s a doozy considering, as Shea Couleé so kindly puts it, “Sasha can’t dance.”

Shea3
Same, girl. Same.

Trinity’s next, and Todrick has this to say about her: “The problem with Trinity is that her rhythm game is a little delayed. I feel like I’m always watching her on Skype.”

Todrick3.PNG
Todrick’s shade is on FIRE this week.

Poor Trinity is having some serious trouble, and she tells Todrick if she can’t do it, well, that’s how it is. And Todrick responds “then… you might not be in the top 3.”

Trinity3
Good LORDT, Todrick! THE SHADE!

Shea comes up, does her thing, slays it, and is done. The other girls look really, really worried now.

Group3
Eek.

At long last, all the prep work is done and it’s time for the final runway of the season! RuPaul looks amazing tonight. Photoshop realness.

RuPaul1
Naomi Smalls would like her dress back, though.

“Tonight, it’s just family,” RuPaul announces, meaning only the regular judges get to be a part of the panel.

Judges1
Poor Todrick was apparently not extended an invitation.

Time for the big number! Peppermint is first and she is fierce, fun, and captivating.

Pepper5
Also, can I have that backup dancer’s number? Kthx.

Sasha starts her part by climbing onto the stage on all fours.

Sasha5
’nuff said.

Trinity’s bit is not quite as stellar as the rest, but she still does really great regardless.

Trinity4.PNG
Serving lingerie-wearing, silicone-containing, cougar bitch realness.

Shea’s bit involves swinging baseball bats around, and as cool as it is, I spent the whole time very worried for those backup dancers.

Shea4
Please be careful!

Y’all, that was so fierce. And look at me, I made it through this without a single Roxxxy Andrews joke!

Group4
They’re here to make it clear– ahh, dammit.

Now for the Final Four Eleganza Extravaganza!

Pepper6

Peppermint is giving us glamorous 18th-century royalty realness. It’s not ideal that she recycled that wig from an older episode, but I’m a sucker for poofy dresses, so, I like it.

Sasha6

Sasha Velour looks gorge in a very quintessential Sasha look. There’s a felt crown, long leather gloves, and that beautiful, perfect makeup. Love it.

Shea5.PNG

Shea Couleé is serving pop star realness with thigh-high boots and all that bedazzling. However, the weird bra attachment on her bustier makes her breasts look extremely disjointed. It’s very strange to look at.

Trinity5

Trinity is pulling out all the pageant-y stops with her final four look. The gown is incredible and she looks sickening. No astigmatism here.

The queens and judges exchange some final praises and comments, including some touching testimonials from the queens about their lives and experience in the competition.

In the Untucked lounge, the girls lighten the mood by talking about going to a bathhouse together and performing an impromptu rendition of “Category Is…” complete with runway walks.

Group5.PNG
RuPaul’s Best Friend Race is back! And this picture is making me really hungry.

Back on the main stage, the ladies are asked to perform one final lip-sync performance, all together, to RuPaul’s “U Wear It Well.” It’s a glorious four-way dance-off where every queen’s own personal style shines and harmonizes beautifully.

Group6
They’re all so good, you guys.

How do you eliminate someone at this point in the competition? Well, the answer is… you don’t.

That’s right, hennies, we’re not getting a top 3 for this year’s finale – all four of these gorgeous, talented girls get to move forward to the endgame!

Group7
Yayyyy!

Congratulations to Peppermint, Sasha Velour, Shea Couleé, and Trinity Taylor, for blowing past these ten other queens and establishing themselves as the best of the best. You all deserve it!

That’s that for this week’s recap, dear all. Next week, we get to find out which queen, out of these final four girls, gets to be crowned America’s Next Drag Superstar!

P.S.: What, no weekly run-down, no final thoughts on the queens’ winning odds? Never fear, dear readers! In honor of the older seasons’ pre-reunion countdown episodes, I’ll be taking a look back at the season’s most memorable moments, complete with assessments on the final four and a fun and humbling look at my first impressions of the Meet the Queens videos! Look for it Thursday at 7 AM PST. See you soon, my lovelies!

Advertisements

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s